Happy Mental Health Awareness Month!
Buckle up. This one might be a doozy. Let's talk about Imposter Syndrome.
But first, let's define it so we're all on the same page.
This phenomenon was first described by psychologists Suzanne Imes, PhD, and Pauline Rose Clance, PhD, in the 1970s. Imposter Syndrome is said to occur among high achievers (yay us...?), but who are unable to internalize and accept their success. If you're like me and suffering from this, we often attribute our accomplishments to luck rather than our ability. While luck is certainly there, trust in yourself. You have the skills and the know-how.
Those suffering from Imposter Syndrome fear that others will eventually unmask them and see them as a fraud.
This isn't an official diagnosis! The verdict is still out, but psychologists and others acknowledge this is a very real form of intellectual self-doubt. It makes sense if you think about it. Irrational? Yes. Sensical? No. Yet it still happens to the best of us. If you've ever felt anxious, depressed or just off about your work -- this is not relative only to writers and authors, anyone in any arena can feel this way! -- well, those are normal for those suffering from this.
Most choose to suffer in silence. Most don't talk about it. The most important things anyone suffering from this (myself included) should know:
This isn't uncommon. You aren't alone.
You're not a fraud.
Curious if you are suffering from Imposter Syndrome?
Below are the 5 types you may fall into. You could also be a combination of them.
1. Perfectionist - you often fixate on your flaws versus you're accomplishments. Not satisfied with your work or yourself.
Underlying emotion: you're afraid of losing control
2. Superhuman - you often push yourself past your limits. You might even feel that others don’t believe you are capable of success or that some people have different expectations of you than of others.
Underlying emotion: you feel shame for having free time and taking time away from work for personal fulfillment
3. Natural Genius - you might have specific skills and may believe your value as an individual is linked to your ability to naturally master those skills. You might get disappointed though when you’re unable to learn something new without aid.
Underlying emotion: you feel shame (and fear) of failing
4. Soloist - you go it alone; solo; an island. You might have trouble asking others for help especially when you might need it the most.
Underlying emotion: you feel there's shame in asking for help
5. Expert - you have skills and achievements, but you continue to feel like you're never quite good enough.
Underlying emotion: you have a fear of inadequacy
Wait... there's additional types?
Yes, there are! Only two though.
1. Noticer - you can’t be proud of your work or yourself. Why? You immediately notice things that... Still. Aren’t. Perfect. You give others grace, but not yourself. You're hyper-aware of the competition -- real or otherwise -- and secretly believe you are always going to miss that bar.
Underlying emotion: you fear not belonging
2. Discounter - you automatically rationalize away any evidence of your competence, achievement, or skills. You don't value or trust your supporters. You doubt the quality or level of competition in any effort you succeed at.
Underlying emotion: you fear not being enough
That was a LOT to digest. Time for dessert?
I have to be honest, I feel like an imposter all the time. It can be pretty debilitating on top of my diagnosed depression. Actually, I think they work together in a horrible kind of symbiotic relationship, feeding off the other. Both come without warning and can suffocate me and douse my spark. It's subsided -- a bit -- after having found a network of other like-minded people, but I still find myself comparing my work and myself to other writers or mothers or bakers or this or that or *insert any of the other million reasons here*.
I question why I can't be as good, why it seems I have to fight harder, struggle more, or have the success that others seem to be just reeling in.
Answer: I'm not them, and neither are you.
But how do we overcome it?
Now that is the golden ticket. It's different for everyone because we all experience it differently. Here are some things that have worked for me over the years though. Maybe they can help you too.
- Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. GIVE YOURSELF GRACE!
- Talk to mentors and others in your circle.
- Recognize -- and freaking celebrate y'all! -- your own expertise and accomplishments.
- Remind yourself about what you do well, not what others do.
- Alter your thinking; reset your mindset.
- Practice mindfulness
- Refocus your values.
- Keep failure in perspective. Rarely, and I mean RARELY, is failing the end of the world.
Go and succeed (whatever that looks like for you) with one of my favorite quotes from Ralph Waldo Emerson.
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